By Paul Lovelace, Executive Vice President of Corporate Development
It usually starts with a quiet moment at the arrangement table. A family member leans in and says, “We know we should preplan, but we just don’t know where to start.”
If you’ve heard this before, you’re not alone.
Most people recognize the value of planning ahead. But uncertainty, fear of making the wrong choice, and worries about cost often keep them from taking the first step.
You and your funeral home have the unique opportunity to guide families from confusion to confidence by answering their most pressing questions with empathy and clarity.
Below are 10 common questions families ask about preplanning, along with clear, ready‑to‑use answers you can share.
Here are the questions we’ll cover:
What does preplanning actually include?
What decisions do we need to make today, and what can wait?
Can we preplan online?
Can I preplan without paying now?
How do people fund their prearrangements?
Can we still preplan if we’re on a fixed income?
Is my money safe if I prepay for my funeral?
How are my wishes recorded, updated, and shared with my family?
What if I move or pass away while out of town?
Planning ahead today makes the hard days of tomorrow easier for families. Preplanning gives loved ones a clear plan so they do not have to guess what the right answer is to the many irreversible decisions that need to be made when a death occurs and emotions are high. Having a plan in place helps families lower stress, prevent mistakes, reduce conflict, and let everyone focus on remembering and healing.
When families understand this before a loss, they make better choices and see your team as a trusted guide.
“Preplanning is truly a gift to the people you love. When your wishes are written down, your family doesn’t have to guess what’s right on a very hard day. They can focus on remembering you, supporting one another, and beginning to heal. We’ll walk at whatever pace feels comfortable so your plan reflects your values and your heart.”
A healing funeral experience includes meaningful elements like music, readings, gathering, symbols, and stories. All of these elements serve a unique purpose and support the 6 needs of mourning:
Acknowledge the reality of the death
Embrace the pain of the loss
Remember the person who died
Develop a new self-identity
Search for meaning
Receive ongoing support from others
When you help families put together a thorough end-of-life plan, you provide a simple blueprint that removes any guesswork and highlights the value of a healing and meaningful service. That way, families can focus on meaning instead of logistics when all the decisions are made ahead of time.
“Together, we’ll talk about the kind of service you’d like – who should speak, what music you love, any readings or traditions you want included – and whether you prefer burial or cremation. We’ll also gather helpful biographical details and anything else that feels meaningful. Our goal is a simple, heartfelt plan that gives your family comfort when they need it most.”
Asking a family too many questions and offering countless choices can make the preplanning process feel overwhelming. When meeting with a family, start with the big pieces of preplanning: disposition type, service type, key ceremony elements, and any must-have items or locations.
Write those down now so the family has direction. Personal touches like photos, reception details, special keepsakes, and more can be added or adjusted at any time. This “essentials first” mindset makes the process feel more manageable for your families.
“Let’s begin with the big pieces: whether you prefer burial or cremation, the type of service you imagine, and any must‑have details. Once those are in place, all the personal touches like photos, music, reception details, and keepsakes can be added anytime. There’s no rush.”
Yes. And you should openly share this with families. Online planning is increasingly common. Let families know they can complete their entire prearrangement online at their own pace, with the option to save progress and return anytime. Reassure them that you’ll still review everything and are available if they want help at any point.
Make your families' path to a unique and complete prearrangement crystal clear by letting them choose what feels best:
All online: The family plans everything from the comfort of their home. You’ll review and confirm the details and be available to answer their questions.
Start online and finish in person: Families can begin exploring their options at home, then meet with you to review and personalize their preplanning choices.
Start in person and finish online: You meet with the family at your funeral home to go over the big pieces of their prearrangements, then the family completes the rest online on their own time.
Remember, your goal is to help families finalize their prearrangements in whatever way is easiest for them. Whether that’s in your funeral home or online, make sure they feel supported no matter which path they choose.
“Yes, you can plan completely online, or do as much as you’re comfortable with. If you want to start online at home, we can review your plan and contact you if we see any issues. If you would rather meet with us first to get started and then finish the rest online, that’s fine, too. It’s completely your choice. We want to make preplanning as easy as possible for you and your family, and we’re here to help at every step.”
Does your funeral home need an online planning and funding tool? Here’s a list of considerations for an online arrangement tool.
Here’s another answer you should make simple for families – yes! Explain to families that planning and paying are not the same. The most important step for the family is putting their wishes in writing with your funeral home, so they have a clear guide at the time of need.
Make it clear there’s no obligation to pay to create a plan. If families ask about funding, you can mention payment options, such as single or monthly payments, without getting too specific. However, if the family wants to know more about payment options, be ready with clear answers.
Emphasizing the distinction between planning ahead and paying ahead reduces pressure and makes it easier for families to take the first step toward preplanning.
“You can definitely plan ahead without paying ahead. Let’s start by putting your wishes in writing so you and your family have clarity. We can discuss funding later if you want. There’s no pressure. We just want to make sure you have all the information you need and feel supported through this whole process.”
Most families choose one of two paths: a single payment or a monthly amount that fits their budget. The “right” choice for every family depends on goals and timing.
When discussing payment options with families, keep the conversation simple and focused on what feels right for the family. Try to avoid any product jargon or technical details. Families that feel in control and respected usually move forward with less stress and more trust in your funeral home.
“Some families prefer a single payment, while others choose a monthly amount that fits comfortably into their budget. If and when you’re ready, we’ll walk through both options in simple, easy-to-understand language so you can choose what feels best.”
Yes, but not all families know that.
Explain to families that:
Preplanning itself is free and requires no upfront payment
Small, monthly payments can make funding more comfortable and affordable
The preplanning process moves at their pace with no pressure from your funeral home
Remember, the goal is not to sell a payment. It’s to provide peace of mind without breaking the bank for a family.
“Absolutely. Preplanning itself costs nothing. If you decide later that you’d like to fund your plan, we can look at small, manageable monthly amounts that fit your situation. We’ll keep everything simple and sensitive to your budget.”
Families deserve to know that their prearrangement is handled properly. Explain clearly and simply that your funeral home partners with financially healthy, reputable life insurance providers and follows clear processes to protect their interests.
Be transparent about how things work and try to avoid product guarantees in your wording. When families understand how their plan is protected and who stands behind it, their worry fades, and their confidence grows.
“We partner with reputable, financially secure providers and follow strict procedures to protect your funds. We’re happy to walk you through exactly how your plan is safeguarded, step by step, so you feel confident and informed.”
Prearrangements are like living documents that can be changed and updated at any time. Explain to families that your funeral home keeps a copy of their plans on file and will give one to the family. With their permission, you can also share it with their next of kin or decision‑maker so everyone is aligned and prepared.
Families' confusion transforms into confidence when everyone knows where the plan lives and how to update it.
“We’ll prepare a written record of your plan and keep it on file at our funeral home. You’ll get a copy, and, with your permission, we’ll share it with your next of kin so everyone knows what to do. You can update the plan any time, and you’re welcome to start or review parts online.”
Reassure families that your funeral home will remain the first call, wherever they are. Your team will coordinate next steps, keep the family’s wishes at the center, and guide them on what to do.
You can also explain how coverage works when they are out of town, so they can decide what feels right for them.
“If you move or something happens while you’re away from home, your family can call us first. We’ll help coordinate every next step. If it feels right for you, we can also add an additional protection plan that covers the cost of bringing you home, no matter where you are.”
When families say they’re “not sure about preplanning,” what they’re really asking is: “Can you help us feel less alone in this?”
This is your moment to teach with gentle insights, tailor with empathy, and take the lead without pressure. And it’s also your moment to guide them, to listen with heart, to walk alongside, and to honor the spirit of their loved ones.
Over time, these conversations lead to clearer plans, calmer families, and a deep trust in your funeral home as a place of compassion and guidance.
The more families are educated on the benefits of preplanning, the more families choose to complete their prearrangements. However, the last thing you need is another item on your long to-do list.
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“Since starting the Select Producer Program, we’ve had people in here almost daily meeting to set up prearrangements. Our preneed sales have grown more than 300%! The volume of business we’re doing has definitely increased since we started.”
- Scott Kish, Funeral Director
Schumacher-Kish Funeral and Cremation Services
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