Why families hesitate to preplan and how your funeral home can help

PUBLISHED: August 2026

By Paul Lovelace, Executive Vice President of Corporate Development at Funeral Directors Life

Quick summary

While 64% of Americans agree preplanning is a vital step, only about 20% have actually done it. This "action gap" isn't caused by a lack of interest, but by 5 specific barriers: not seeing the value of a funeral, assuming they have to pay upfront, avoiding difficult conversations, having misconceptions, or simply not knowing where to begin. Your funeral home can remove these barriers with the right messaging and an active preneed program.

You’re sitting across from a family who just lost someone they love. Between conversations about caskets and service types, they finally say it:

“I wish we had talked to Mom about planning ahead. It’d be nice if this were all figured out already.”

You nod. You’ve heard this before.

Because while most families believe preplanning is a good idea, very few of them actually follow through. In fact, a study found that 64% of Americans agree that preplanning is a good idea, but only about 20% have done it.

For you and your funeral home, closing this gap can feel like an uphill battle. You know preplanning helps families. You’ve seen firsthand how a plan in place changes everything at the time of need. But encouraging families to take that first step? That’s the hard part.

Here’s the good news: the gap isn’t about willingness. It’s about barriers. And when you understand what’s really keeping families from preplanning, you can remove those barriers and make sure it’s your funeral home they turn to when they’re ready.

Keep reading to find out what’s holding families back and how your funeral home can help.

What are the most common barriers to preplanning?

The gap between “I should preplan” and “I’m ready to preplan” usually comes down to 5 common barriers. And most of them have less to do with interest and more to do with uncertainty.

So, what’s actually holding families back?

They don’t see the full value of a funeral

Many families simply don’t understand the value of a healing and meaningful funeral. And when families don’t see how ceremony, ritual, and gathering support the grief journey, there’s little urgency to plan ahead. They think, “What’s the point if I won’t be there?”

They assume preplanning means prefunding

Cost is one of the most common reasons families hesitate to preplan. Many people believe that planning ahead also means paying ahead, and that financial pressure stops the conversation before it starts.

As you know, preplanning and prefunding are two separate things. Families can put their wishes in writing without making any financial commitment. But if families don’t know that, they may never take the first step.

Death avoidance keeps the conversation on hold

Even families who understand the value of planning ahead find it easy to push the conversation off until “someday.” This emotional barrier is real, and it’s powerful. For many people, preplanning feels like acknowledging mortality in a way they’re not ready for, so they wait. And they keep waiting until a loss forces the conversation at a time when grief and uncertainty are involved.

They have misconceptions about what’s involved

Some families picture preplanning as a heavyweight commitment: hours of paperwork, overwhelming choices, and decisions that can never be changed. These assumptions are paralyzing, even for families who want to plan. They're not lacking interest. They just think the process is far harder than it actually is.

They don’t know where to start

On the other hand, some families are ready to preplan, but they don’t know how to get started. Families in your community may not know they can turn to you for preplanning education and support. And without a clear entry point, even motivated families can stay stuck.

How can your funeral home help more families preplan?

Now that you understand what's holding families back, the question becomes: What can your funeral home do about it?

The right strategy meets families where they are, so they feel supported rather than pressured. With a few intentional shifts, your funeral home can be the one families turn to when they’re ready to plan. Here’s how:

Educate families on the value of a healing funeral

Families who understand the value of a funeral before a loss occurs are far more likely to see preplanning as an act of love, not a task to avoid. And by using your preneed program to educate families, you can ensure the families in your community understand why funerals matter before they ever need one.

The key is focusing on the message. Families need to hear how ceremony, ritual, and gathering support the grief journey.

Here's how to shape that message:

• Tell real stories: Share examples of how a meaningful service helped a family begin to heal. A short testimonial or reflection from a family you've served can be more powerful than any statistic.
• Connect funerals to grief recovery: Help families understand that a funeral is a proven step in processing loss. Content that links the ceremony to emotional well-being reframes the funeral from an obligation into something essential.
• Start the conversation before it's needed: Whether it's a social media post, a newsletter, or a conversation at a community event, every touchpoint is a chance to help families see funerals as something to value.

When families believe funerals matter, preplanning stops feeling pointless and starts feeling important.

Make sure families know that preplanning doesn’t always mean prefunding

It’s important for families to understand that preplanning and prefunding are two separate things. You can help families overcome this barrier by explaining that funding doesn't have to be figured out right away, and that making their wishes known is the most important step.

When families understand they can plan at their own pace and explore funding options later, the decision to preplan feels a lot less overwhelming. And the more approachable preplanning feels, the more likely families are to follow through.

Reframe preplanning as a gift, not a burden

You have the opportunity to completely change how families think about preplanning. By showing families that preplanning is about giving the people they love a clear path through grief, you can help more families overcome this barrier.

Rather than asking, “Have you thought about your funeral?” try, “Have you thought about what your family will need?” When preplanning is framed as something you do for the people you love, it becomes a lot easier to consider and act on.

Show families exactly what to expect

Families who know what the preplanning process looks like are far more likely to get started. The key is replacing their assumptions with a clear, honest picture of what actually happens.

• Name the misconceptions directly: Don't just say preplanning is simple. Address the specific fears. Tell families: "You don't need to have everything figured out. You don't need to make any permanent decisions. And most families complete the process in a single conversation." When you name the fear, you take its power away.
• Make the process visible: A short "What to Expect" section on your website or a one-page overview handed out at events can do more than any sales conversation. When families can see the steps laid out, how few there are, and how flexible they are, the process stops feeling intimidating.
• Emphasize that plans can change: One of the biggest unspoken fears is being locked in. Reassure families that a preplan is a living document, not a binding contract. When families know they can revisit and revise their wishes, the barrier drops significantly.

The goal isn't to convince families that preplanning is worth doing. The goal is to convince them it's not as hard as they think.

Find out the most common questions families ask about preplanning in this article!

Make it easy for families to take the first step

Sometimes, the only thing standing between a family and preplanning is a clear starting point. These families don't need more education. They already see the value.

What they need is a front door that's easy to find and easy to walk through.

Your funeral home can remove that barrier by reducing friction at every step:

• Put a clear call to action on your website: A "Start Your Plan" button or a simple preplanning page gives motivated families an obvious place to begin. No searching required.
• Offer a low-commitment digital starting point: A short online questionnaire or downloadable checklist lets families take the first step from home, on their own time, without any pressure.
• Make your funeral home easy to approach in person: Advance planning seminars and community events give families a comfortable, no-obligation way to connect with you and learn what the first step looks like.

The goal here isn't to convince families that preplanning matters. They already believe that. It's to make sure your funeral home is the easiest place to get started.

Help your community plan with confidence

Most families already believe in preplanning. They just need a funeral home that makes it easy, approachable, and stress-free.

When you understand the barriers families face, you can remove them one by one. And when you do, more families plan ahead and gain peace of mind.

Ready to help more families in your community plan ahead?

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